1st Day of School 2013

This year my kids both moved up schools. My son is now a 6th grader in middle school and my daughter is in 9th at a new high school. The other day I drove by the local elementary school and thought I would feel a pang of sadness to be finished with that part of my kids’ lives. Turns out I felt the exact opposite. All I could think about was what I wouldn’t miss from elementary school.

I’m not in a rush for my kids to grow up. In fact, I’m really enjoying them right now. My daughter is solidly in the teen years, and she’s more delightful than ever. And watching my son develop slowly into the young man he will become is beautiful. I mean it. When they were babies my husband and I wondered what our kids would be. Now it’s becoming clearer, and it’s really cool to watch. Sure, sometimes I miss the little baby smell and the feeling of an exhausted toddler limp on my shoulder (Oh, that’s delicious.). Mostly, though, I’m good right where we are.

Inspired by the new school year, here is my list of six things I will not miss about elementary school.

Walking my kids to their classroom. Sorry, but I’m not a morning person. Not. At. All. Most days at drop off I’m in my pajamas with sleep still stuck in my eyes. I don’t want to make pleasantries with the other parents who look ready for the day. No, I want to stay in my car. Then, I want to head home to put my feet up, turn on the Housewives and sip a cup of tea to slowly start my day.

Buying 60 pencils: I never minded buying extra supplies for the classroom for kids who might not have enough. And I never minded sending my kids in with cleaning supplies and tissues so little Melanie didn’t dribble snot on my kid. What I never really understood were some of the items that were asked for but barely used (I’m talking about the 4th composition notebook that had three pages of writing in it) or the crazy quantities that could never have been used. For several years I had to supply 60 sharpened pencils. I cannot conceive of any possibility that my child, even sharing with friends, could consume 60 pencils in 9 months.

Projects that require supervision. I went to school for 22 years. I’ve done my time and my homework. I don’t want any more. And I don’t want to help my kids with their projects either. Most elementary school projects cannot be completed by the child alone. My kids didn’t know how to use the computer to Google, they couldn’t shop for required supplies on their own, and they couldn’t use the hot glue gun. So, their projects became my projects too. I’m done with that.

The 100-day project: Do not even get me started on this one. Every year for the 100th day of school all of the kids are assigned the same project. Find 100 items and make a picture with those items to celebrate the most insignificant day of the year. This might be a fun and educational project for kids in kindergarten or even 1st grade. But by the time 5th grade rolls around, believe me, all the kids can all count to 100. Pasting 100 Jelly Belly candies or Cheerios on a paper won’t drive the point home any further.

Ridiculously early dismissal every Thursday or the arbitrary half days. I love spending time with my kids. I really do. But I also have to work and so does my husband. When schools end every Thursday at 12:50 pm (yup, that’s right after lunch) it’s impossible to get any work done. In order to be at the crazy pick up line by 12:50 I need to leave the house by 12:35. That means I need to be in the shower by 12. I probably will need to eat something because I’m a bear if I don’t so that takes me to 11:45. By the time I’m back from drop off (even if I skip the housewives) that leaves me not even four hours of work. This doesn’t even take into account the half days that seem to crop up more and more for no reason. A half day dismissal is at 11:50. UGH! I will not miss those days.

The playground: It doesn’t rain in southern California. Like, at all. Without rain the asphalt-topped playground is the dirtiest place on earth. When I would pick up my son his hands looked like he worked in the coal mine for hours. No one ever told him, “Hey kid, you look kind of dirty, go wash your hands.” So my son had the black gunk on his face, hands, clothes and I’m sure he even ate his lunch like that. Gross.