“I ask three things of the books I read. I want to learn something, I want to laugh, and, when a book is really special, I get to forge a personal connection with a writer for as long as I turn the pages. Catherine Pearlman has given me all three in this book, and much more.”
– Jessica Lahey,
Author of The Gift of Failure
How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction
This book teaches frustrated, stressed-out parents that selectively ignoring certain behaviors can actually inspire positive changes in their kids.
With all the whining, complaining, begging, and negotiating, parenting can seem more like a chore than a pleasure. Dr. Catherine Pearlman, syndicated columnist and one of America’s leading parenting experts, has a simple yet revolutionary solution: Ignore It!
Dr. Pearlman’s four-step process returns the joy to child rearing. Combining highly effective strategies with time-tested approaches, she teaches parents when to selectively look the other way to withdraw reinforcement for undesirable behaviors. Too often we find ourselves bargaining, debating, arguing and pleading with kids. Instead of improved behavior parents are ensuring that the behavior will not only continue but often get worse. When children receive no attention or reward for misbehavior, they realize their ways of acting are ineffective and cease doing it. Using proven strategies supported by research, this book shows parents how to:
– Avoid engaging in a power struggle
– Stop using attention as a reward for misbehavior
– Use effective behavior modification techniques to diminish and often eliminate problem behaviors
Overflowing with wisdom, tips, scenarios, frequently asked questions, and a lot of encouragement, Ignore It! is the parenting program that promises to return bliss to the lives of exasperated parents.
“I ask three things of the books I read. I want to learn something, I want to laugh, and, when a book is really special, I get to forge a personal connection with a writer for as long as I turn the pages. Catherine Pearlman has given me all three in this book, and much more. She’s given me a resource I will refer back to over and over again, both as a writer and a parent.”
“Dr. Pearlman’s book offers parenting advice that is effective in every situation. Chock-full of practical applications, this book will help you ease out of those challenging situations every parent faces.”
“Fun, insightful straightforward advice that can really make your family life happier.”
“Dr. Pearlman recommended ignoring my son when he was having a hard time. At first it felt weird and wrong. What I soon realized is that he needed to calm down without me lurking over him. I wasn’t shirking my parenting duties by ignoring him. I was giving him space which I think I had not been doing before. Parenting is hard. As soon as you figure out one stage they move on and age into some other unknown territory. I am happy to have Dr. Pearlman to help me find my way.”
From tantrums and food strikes to sibling bickering and random refusals, children often seem to create drama and incite arguments intentionally. Family counselor Pearlman (social work, Brandman Univ.) advises mom and dad to turn a blind eye and step away in order to effectively decrease power struggles and avoid blistering disagreements. Demonstrating how debate and engagement with a child only encourages whining and negotiating, Pearlman presents a four-step process designed to increase both a child’s self-esteem and parenting satisfaction. The author stands firm in the belief that parents will always lose something in a negotiation, even if they “win,” reminding us that “any attention—even negative—still motivates a child.” Ignoring bad behavior is known to be a preferable and more effective tool than over-correcting. And as always, parents will need a lot of inner strength and consistency to get the desired results.
— VERDICT For public library collections.