Divorced Parents and Choking on a Pea for 08/11/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: I’m a divorced mom with a 10-year-old son. The arrangement with my ex is my son switches houses every weekend. He often forgets something inconsequential like a uniform or a book at one place or the other. Whenever I get frustrated with him, he tells me I don’t understand how hard it is to have divorced parents because my parents are still married. I feel he uses the divorce as an excuse and tries to make me feel guilty. How can I respond to him without sounding insensitive? — Mom Not Buying It
Dear Mom: I think it’s possible your son is making excuses and having divorced parents is hard. Organization isn’t always a strong suit for a 10-year-old. Add an additional home with twice as much to keep orderly and you have recipe for constant misplacement of important items. Imagine you had to travel for work every single week. Don’t you think you might forget a thing or two along the way?
Before doing anything about the missing items, take a moment to listen to your son. He is trying to tell you that having divorced parents isn’t always rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes it’s inconvenient. Sometimes it’s frustrating. And I bet sometimes it’s upsetting. Don’t try to talk him out of that. Listen and show him some empathy. He didn’t ask for this situation.
Updated: Fri Aug 11, 2017