Picture by Valocity Studios

A video popped up in my news feed on Facebook today that hit me hard. I hesitate to write this post as I know it will point out this video to even more folks. But I think it is important to raise the issue and it really cannot fully be understood without seeing the video.

I can see the thought that went into the moment on the video. A mother is pregnant. She bakes a blue or pink cake to tell the kids whether they will have a baby brother or sister. A boy and his two little sisters come to the table where a white frosted cake is presented. Video and camera in hand as both mom and dad watch their son cut into the cake to discover mom is having another girl.

Here is where this video goes wrong for me. The little boy is distraught about having a third sister. He was hopeful and excited of the possibility of having a brother. He breaks into hysterics and dad tries to console him by saying “I wanted a boy too. It’s ok. You will love your sister…” This continues on for three minutes. Boy expresses sadness and dad continues to film. Dad just keeps trying to get the little guy to admit he will love his little sister.

It is so painful to watch because this boy is in real pain. As anyone who has tried to have another baby hoping for a specific gender but not getting it can attest, it is disappointing and can be painful. Doesn’t mean he won’t love his sister. But he is allowed to be sad and upset.

What I wanted so badly in this video but didn’t get was to see mom or dad put the camera down and go hug him. Tell him they are sorry he is disappointed. Empathize with how much they know it would have meant to him to have a brother. They shouldn’t push to convince him he will love this child. That is beside the point.

Further upsetting me is the fact that even after the filming of this precious moment was over, the parents decide to post it on YouTube publicly.  Ok so you didn’t have your best parenting moment and your son was really upset. No one is a perfect parent. But why not just keep that to yourself. Laugh about it later.

I am sure they will love the little baby just the same. But it seems like a little discretion and empathy would have better fit the bill.