An Unwanted Boyfriend and Missing Parenting for 10/13/2017
Dear Family Coach
Dear Family Coach: My 15-year-old daughter believes she is in love. Despite our objections, she says that she will see her “boyfriend” no matter what we say. I don’t allow dating until age 16. And I think in my daughter’s case, it needs to be more like 17 or 18. She struggles with depression and is very rebellious, disorganized and very naive. To avoid drama, my husband convinced me to allow her to visit the “boyfriend’s” house. Should I be bending the rules for the sake of peace? — Stricter Parent
Dear Stricter: I hate to say this, but putting the word “boyfriend” in quotation marks doesn’t change his status. Your daughter is in love, and there isn’t much you can do about it. The trouble is that any efforts you put forth to curb her dating will only push it further underground. She will say she is with a friend when she is really with him. And you will have no idea what she is up to, or with whom. Don’t go the route of forbidding her relationship. Instead, become a mentor and a safe place for her to talk about the intricacies of dating.
Updated: Fri Oct 13, 2017